June 7, 2010

:: A Note to Ashaff ::

Best kan...if tengah boring2 ke..or mood sangat tak menetu..ade je orang nak borak2 ngan kite. Tak kire lah..borak tentang ape. Tak kire lah kite paham ke tak. Tak kisah lah entah keberapa kali dia dok tanye benda yang sama. Tapi........sangat geram..bile kite cakap dia tak dengar. Bz..dengan toy nye...sangat bz..mata tu memandang citer favorite nye. ish...geram...geram....
hehehehe.....itu lah yang always happened to me. Having conversation with my 1st son Ashaff. Kawan tuk bergaduh...atau menyakat. :-) Ashaff start cakap sangat lambat...but mula berjalan when he turn 11 month. Dia tak merangka...panjat2.. berdiri...and terus jalan. By age 1 je dah berlari jauh dah. Semput nak kejar...but now dah boleh bawak diri. As a big brother i think he is very responsible. And hati nye sangat lah lembut. Lembut...??? hummmm....lembut yg cam ne...maksud me...sangat penyayang and penyedih. Pantang nampak benda yang ...boleh menyayat hati..dia nye mata leh berair. hik..hik..hik. me perasan benda ni dah lama...but since dia ade adik ni..lagi lah obvious. But for me..is good, that mean dia normal. Mempunyai perasaan sedih dan sangat penyayang. Biarlah orang kata anak me "cengeng" ke...."kuat melalak"..."lembik" ke...but only mother know...what the kid is. Betul tak...? Yang bercakap tu tak de anak...so itu yang keluar cam gitu..perihal nye.....!!!!! Ashaff....sangat sensitive. Dulu..when dia tengah makan ke minum..tetiba food kat tangan tu jatuh...automatic dia akan nangis. Mula2 me cam heran..rupa nya..dia cam sayang benda tu jatuh. Me tak marah pun....but when i explain to him...than dia dah ok dah. Now mungkin ade but kurang lah. When its come to baby pun cam gitu jugak. Pernah tak tengok movie " Baby Day Out". Yang baby kena kidnap tu. Pastu baby tu naik atas roof....dia cam terkejut and terus tak nak tengok. Dia kate..nanti baby jatuh cam ne.? Citer Mr Bean yang with baby kat Funfair tu pun dia tak nak tengok. Sangat takut. Coz baby tu cry kan. So dia cam freak out kejap. :-) Pernah dengar lagu "Kami Prihatin"..? Lagu about...bayi2 yang di buang sana sini. Mula2 dia tengok..dia cam tak perasan...but 1 day tu dia tengok. Dia cam terkejut. Ashaff : eh..baby me : ya..baby...but some a dead. Ashaff : what?...why? some pause there.....from me me : some of the baby sick and some the parents don't want them. Ashaff : why...? me : they throw the baby...coz they bad people..... Ashaff :.....they bad people. WHERE THE GOOD PEOPLE ??????? me : me..u...us..we are good guy. we love u...and all the babies. He terus senyum..and said yes..... May be...sedikit kejam when i label them yang buang baby tu "BAD GUY"..but i can't find a perfect word to describe them. If my kid yang age 5 tu tahu sedih..when he see that...orang yang buat tu cam ne ekk perasaan nya. Feel sorry for them. Tak nak citer lah about this make me sad je..... Dulu when Aiden belum ade lagi...me and Ashaff like to fight, mean...i sakat dia sampai nangis. Pastu...if dia marah me..i call my hubby and mengadu kat dia. hahahaha sangat jahat kan. And now we both buli Aiden .....and Aiden ngadu kat daddy. hehehehe First time Aiden pakai kasut. And me lepas kan dia ...Ashaff punya lah cuak. Dia sampai jerit2. Ashaff : mama...mama ambil aiden me: biar...let him walk. Ashaff : no...put him in the stroller. me : its ok...biar je. Dia nak walk. Ashaff : nanti dia jatuh...aiden..aiden...( dia jerit ) pastu dia tarik baju aiden...and peluk tak bagi jalan. heheheh. me and hubby gelak je. Cam tu lah...Ashaff. Sometime funny kan....but nak buat cam ne. Dia takut..if anything happened to his little brother. Sayang....but gaduh pun ye jugak. Pening tau dok umah ni..hari2 budak gemuk ni gaduh. Ade je tak kena. Yang Aiden..semua nye boleh main. Ashaff lak sangat lah menjaga barang2 nya. Buku untuk di baca...block tuk di buat building or ship. But for aiden..semua nye boleh masuk mulut or boleh main baling2. ish..ish..ish. Malas nak layan pun je jugak...but tak tegur kang....susah jugak. Berebut barang ni selalu sangat. me explain to Ashaff yang he have to share everything now....payah sangat payah. But sometime dia memang sangat menjaga adik nya. Toy yang kecik2 tu dia asing kan sendiri. Tak yah suruh dah. Such a good boy !!! Ashaff sangat funny with word yang dia use. Cakap pun campur2..cam rojak. Malay and English. One day when we went out...dia ni sangat banyak tanya....than dia nak show something kat me and hubby. Pastu dia panggil ..... ashaff : guy...guy..look at that watermelon. hubby : who guy? we ur parents... ashaff : parent ...parent.....look at that water melon.... hahahahaha kita orang gelak je......macam2 lah budak ni....asal kan boleh je... Itulah anak-anak. Penyeri rumah tangga. Tak de, tak boleh..ada buat kite pening. Betul lah apa orang kata.... " Lain...if ade anak sendiri ni. Sayang nya...prihatin nya. Iyelah kan..dah anak sendiri. " Besar depan mata. nak marah ke cubit ke...diri sendiri yang rasa. Even me dok jaga them hari2. But selalu tak puas tengok and kiss them. Love to look them play together. Smile when they give me that look. ya...im so proud of my boys. ya me proud of being a mom... :-) now terasa yang Ashaff dah semakin besar...nanti masuk sekolah..and than boarding school...uwahhhhh sangat sedih bile think of that. huk....huk....huk But nak buat cam ne....mesti lah budak2 semakin besar kan.... nanti left me and hubby je if semua dah buat hal sendiri...entah mase tu hubby nak borak with me tak..macam Ashaff borak with me.... :( xoxo p/s : note ni dah lama tulis...every day when i miss him ( ashaff ) i wrote piece by piece.... to ashaff ..when u grow older, please read this and realize how much i love u and how funny u a... :-)

4 comments:

**ibu aryssa** said...

apesal i yg rasa syahdu baca entry u yg ni? huhuhu

love said...

hehehe....alah u ni memang emo sejak2 ade baby ni....
its a good sign .... :-)

kalau u yg baca syahdu..i yg tulis..cam no...

JarikuBerkata said...

huhuhu...sedihnya...bertakung jap air mata ni...

love said...

...sedih coz dia dah makin besar...uwahhhh

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